


Is It Just Me, Or Does Danny Devito Have Some Major Sex Appeal?

by Sourstarbursts



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: 14 year old weirdos, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, College, Fluff, Humor, M/M, No Angst, a fucking first for me, hopeless romantic richie, richie loves astrology, stan and richie are bwest fwiends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2020-11-22 15:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20876600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourstarbursts/pseuds/Sourstarbursts
Summary: In a world where everything drawn/written on your soulmate’s skin shows up on your own- Eddie has an annoying soulmate and Richie is already in love with his.





	1. Do you ever fucking stop writing on yourself?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Wrote this in the middle of writing my update for “theres a muddy field where a garden was” cuz i needed fluff in my life. Also pleeeeeaassse go check out that fic cuz I’m gonna be updating soon!!!!!!!! And I really want people to read it.

“Is it just me, or does Danny Devito have some major sex appeal?” 

14 year old Eddie Kaspbrak sighs looking down at his arm, his sleeves rolled up exposing his soulmate’s writing. The hastily scribbled writing was not there this morning. In his other hand he held a short sleeved polo shirt on a hanger. He had been debating whether or not he should buy the shirt for about five minutes now. 

He looked back down at his arm. A new sentence had now been added. In the same color marker- hot pink of course- but a different, more neat style of handwriting wrote:

“Yes. Why didn't you just say that to me? Why are we talking on your arm?”

Two seconds later:

“So my soulmate knows how much I wanna do anal with Danny Devito.”

Eddie lets out a groan and puts back the yellow polo shirt back on the clothing rack. He searches in his fanny pack for his black ballpoint pen, he uncaps the pen and writes on his arm:

“You’re single handedly the reason why I can never wear short sleeve shirts. Do you ever fucking stop writing on yourself?”

Eddie rolls his sleeve back down. He makes his way to the long sleeved section of men’s shirts in Goodwill.

——

“Guys!” Richie exclaims, clutching his arm. Stan, Mike, and Bill all turn their heads from the T.V to see what Richie is now yelling about.

“Guys! My soulmate actually wrote back this time! Guys look!” 

Mike pauses whatever Batman movie was currently playing. All the boys gather around Richie’s arm.

“Look! Look!” The brunette thrusts his arm into his friends' faces as they read the scribbled writing on Richie’s arm.

“Wow. Looks like she hates you.” Mike laughs. 

“Oh my god! My soulmate has only ever wrote back once before! This is huge! Oh my god! I have to write back! Stan, Stan! Where’s my pen?!?”

Richie is now throwing around all the pillows and blankets on Mike’s couch, trying to look for his pink sharpie.

“You put it in your pocket.” Stan rolls his eyes. 

Richie stops dead in his tracks. He shoves both his hands in to his short pockets. He comes up with nothing. He looks back up at Stan.

“Shirt pocket.” 

Richie grabs the pen out of his Hawaiian shirt pocket on his chest. He quickly starts writing a response. 

“Whu-wh-what did you w-write?” Bill asks.

Richie shows the boys his arm once again. Under his soulmate’s black ink Richie simply wrote: “I love you.” His friends all groan as they read his writing.

“I… don't know I panicked.”

“Well it looks like she wrote back to you.” Stan pointed. Richie’s eyes immediately flick to his arm, but before he can read it he flicks them back up at the others.

“Oh god. Oh god I fucked up. Oh god my soulmate totally thinks I’m a freak!” 

“Yeah probably.” Mike smiles. Richie groans even more, but he looks back down to his arm.

In that cute, neat, black ink reads:

“You don’t even know my name, jackass.” 

Richie gasps.

“Stan. Hand me my pen.”

“It’s literally already in your hand.”

Richie tears his eyes away from his arm. Oh yeah. It was in his hand. He uncaps the sharpie once more and writes:

“What’s your name then?” 

Richie fist bumps the air.

“I. Am such a genius.” He laughs. The other boys roll their eyes. They all sit back down, but still watch Richie, waiting for what his soulmate has to say next.

About 30 seconds later new ink forms on his arm.

“Edward. Or Eddie.” Richie’s heart pounds in his chest. Stan, sitting next to Richie gasps as the name forms. Richie quickly rolls his long sleeved undershirt back down. 

Bill furrows his eyebrows at the sudden change in tone. 

“Whu-what did she write?” Bill asks. Mike leans towards Richie, curious as well.

Richie quickly glances over to Stan, as soon as their eyes meet Stan glances away.

“Uh. Her name is um. Edna.” Richie stammers.

“Um. Okay? Is that an issue or something?” Mike asks confused.

Richie is silent for a moment. Uh yeah. Huge fucking issue. 

“Uh y-yeah! Totally fucking grandma name!” Richie says.

“T-t-thats not nice. P-p-people can’t c-control their names.” Bill frowns.

“Yeah! And you’re one to talk, Richard!” Mike says.

“Hey! My name is fine!”

“W-whatever. Dick.”

——

“Bye g-guys. See y’all t-t-tomorrow.” Bill says as he gets on silver. He quickly waves to the others as he rides off. 

Richie and Stan wave bye to Stan as they get on their bikes and bike towards the street they both live on.

They both bike in silence. Both nervous to speak. 

After what feels like hours, but was probably only 3 minutes, Stan finally says:

“So… did you know you were… y’know…. before?”

Richie knows exactly what he means.

“Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I knew.” He says sheepishly. 

Stan nods. “I don’t think I did. I soon realized after, though.” Stan admits.

Richie just stares at the boy. Completely struck with what the other just said. He’s stunned, unaware of his surroundings, processing those words. He quickly gets snapped back into reality as he feels his bike start to wobble. He straightens himself out, rebalancing his bike.

“Wait… so you…?”

Stan sighs and stops his bike. Richie mimics his movements, stopping in the middle of the street besides him.

“Look, don’t tell anybody but…” Stan trails off. He rolls up the sleeve of his cardigan to show Richie. 

“To Kill a Mockingbird essay due Tuesday.” Is written on Stan’s arm in black cursive. The exact same cursive that belonged to-

“Holy shit! Mike!?” Richie gasped. Stan blushed. 

“Keep your voice down! And yeah. He wears short sleeves so I like… know it’s him.” Stan rolled his sleeve down.

“Woah that’s- wait.” Richie’s eyes widen. Stan furrows his brows.

“What?” Stan asks.

“The To Kill a Mockingbird essay is due Tuesday?” Richie asks. 

“Uh… yeah?”

Richie slaps his forehead.

“Dude! Fuck! That’s fucking tomorrow! I haven’t even fucking started! Fuuuuuuuuuck!” Richie groans. Stan rolls his eyes at this.

“Tough tiddies dude, and to think its worth 25% of your grade.” Stan laughs.

“Uggghhhh. Whateverrrrr, ugh. guess I’m pulling an all nighter. Shit…” Richie trails off. Oh yeah they were talking about something important. Haha.

“Wait but, like, Mike! Dude!” Richie throws his arms up. Stan blushes once again.

“Yeah. I know.” 

“Does he know?” Richie asks.

“No! And you can’t tell him!” Stan rushes out, almost looking panicked. Richie puts his hands up defensively.

“Woah. Dude I won’t tell. But… seriously why haven’t you told him?” 

Stan rubs the back of his neck looking to the side.

“I don’t know… I guess I’m scared?” Stan states like its a question. 

“Scared of what?” Richie asks.

“Scared of him rejecting me…” Stan replies. Richie looks at him like he’s crazy.

“What?! Why would he reject you? You’re his fucking soulmate!”

“Yeah but…” Stan almost whispers, “What if he’s disappointed it’s me?”

Richie makes a sound that sounds kind of like a turkey gobbling. Like, if you were to hypothetically write out the sound Richie had made, it would sound close to something like “glugublfluhbshub”. I don’t know, hypothetically of course.

“Dude! Mike would be crazy to reject you! You are like the total package! You’re funny in your own weird way, you’re smart, you’re good at math, you’re cool and like a ton of other things! I don’t know where you’re getting this dumb idea that Mike would be anything but thrilled to find out you’re his soulmate!” Richie leaned over the two of their bike’s to throw a hand over Stan’s shoulder to pat his back. It was a very awkward angle considering Richie has to lean over to get there, but it still had all the comfort Stan needed.

Stan smile at this. This statement from his best friend genuinely warmed his heart. Don’t get Stan wrong though, he still stood by the fact he saw his heart was cold and dead, but his heart became warmer none of the less.

“Thanks, Rich. The same goes for you. This Eddie guy is really lucky to have you.” 

Richie smiled widely at this. 

“Thanks Stan the man. Oh and also you are so dumb for thinking Mike wouldn’t be fucking estastic to be your soulmate, like he is literally already in fucking love with you.” Richie said.

The two boys started walking their bikes again as they talked.

“W-what?! What do you mean he’s in love with me?” Stan asked flabbergasted.

Richie rolled his eyes dramatically.

“I mean he’s in love with you. He gets major heart eyes whenever you do anything. Like literally anything.” 

“He does not!” 

“Does to!”

——

That night as Richie lay in his bed preparing for sleep, he traces each letter of the name written on his forearm.

“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…” he repeats to himself like a mantra. He doesn’t know him yet, but just knowing that this boy will be his companion for life, is enough to cause his heart to flutter. Eddie, the sweetest name for the sweetest boy in the whole world. 

As he traces along his arm it dawns to Richie that he had never replied to his soulmates words.

Quickly he scrambles out of his bed, searching in his discarded pants pockets for his hot pink sharpie. As soon as he finds it, he rips off the cap and write under his sweet boy’s writing:

“My name’s Richie.”

He smiles one more, recapping his pen and discarding it somewhere in his pile of clothes.

He gets back into bed and resumes his quest for sleep.

As he slowly begins to drift off that cute, neat, black ink now begins to write new words:

“I really like that name.”


	2. Eddie, Baby, I’m sorry I said I wanted to lick your mom’s toes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie’s ignoring Richie’s writing and Richie is having a melt down because of it. Luckily, Stan is the bestest friend in the world.

Richie Tozier was turning 15 tomorrow, and while he should be excited and happy, he was currently sat in Stan’s bedroom sobbing uncontrollably while clutching on to his best friend. 

Stan was grimacing as he felt his friend’s hot tears and sticky snot soak into the shoulder of his new sweater. None of the less, Stan rubs soothing circles into Richie’s back, trying to calm him down. While Richie was obviously overreacting, it still hurt Stan seeing how torn up his best friend was. He really hated seeing Richie like this. 

Richie had a heart that was too big for his body. While to others it may not seem like it, Stan knew how soft Richie was. Richie was a hopeless romantic through and through. He loved easily and broke his own heart even easier. Most people Stan has met felt fond emotions for their soulmate despite not having met them yet, but Richie took it to another level. Richie was absolutely, utterly, and terribly in love with his soulmate, Eddie. He had no idea what Eddie had looked like, didn't even know all that much about him, but Richie was obsessed.

Richie learned how to draw flowers just because Eddie mentioned liking them once. He’d spend hours decorating his arms with scribbled drawings of roses and sunflowers just to see Eddie draw a smiley face underneath them in return. 

Richie would even go as far as writing what Stan could only describe as fan fiction between the two of them. Richie’s parents had let Stan go into Richie’s room while he was doing track to retrieve notes Stan had missed when he was absent. In a notebook Stan had mistaken for Richie’s science notes, Richie had several short stories staring him and Eddie. A few were possible scenarios for how the two would meet. A couple were about their future marriage. There was a list of dates Richie planned on taking Eddie. Far too many about the two of them going to see the fifth shrek movie that didn't exist. And even some about- okay Stan didn't want to think about those stories again. 

Richie wasn’t even embarrassed when Stan confronted him about the stories. All he did was shrug and say ‘I can’t help that my Venus sign is in Leo and yours is in Capricorn, Stan. You just wouldn’t understand.’ Stan still didn’t know what the fuck that meant. 

Richie was in deep deep love with Eddie, and he was obviously very heartbroken at the moment. And while it was for a kind of stupid reason, Stan still felt his heart hurting for Richie’s.

“H-he hates me! H-he fucking hates m-me a-and never wants to t-talk to me e-e-ever again!” Richie sobs loudly.

“Rich, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. Maybe he’s just been busy.”

“T-two months, Stan! Two months a-and he hasn’t said anything! He fucking hates m-me!” Stan pulls Richie’s face out of his shoulder. Richie looks disgusting and sad. Face red, blotchy, and wet. Hair a mess and glasses fogged up from his hot tears. Richie sniffles loudly. Stan holds him by the shoulders.

“Richie. He’s your soulmate. He’s not gonna be mad at you forever.” Stan reassures him. This makes Richie let out a loud, wailing sob. 

“S-so he is mad!! Huh?!” Richie cries, more and more tears coming out of his clenched eyes.Stan sighs, he holds out his hand. 

“Show me your arm, what did you last say to him?” Stan asks. 

Richie hands him his arm. Stan rolls up RIchie’s sleeve for him and turns his head to read his writing. 

‘Eddie, baby, I’m sorry I said I wanted to lick your mom’s toes. It was a joke I swear, I only wanna lick yours.’

Stan stares deadpan at Richie, but continues reading the writing under it. 

‘That was a joke too. I’m sorry, baby. Seriously. I don’t want to lick either your toes or your mom’s toes. I wanna lick Stuart little’s toes. Haha. Rely with a hell yeah if you agree.’

Stan sighs, rolling his eyes.

‘No, that was a joke too. I’m serious this time. Starting right now. I’m sorry. Like a lot of sorry. PLEASE, babylove. I can’t take not talking to you it's eating me up inside, I miss you so much. You’re all I can think about, I’m sorry. I’ll do anything for you to just talk to me again, Eds.’

This— actually made Stan angry. Richie was obviously joking and Eddie was just gonna ignore him? Sure, it was a dumb joke but Richie was literally begging Eddie for his forgiveness. What the fuck.

Stan stands up from his bed. He grabs a pen from his desk drawer. Richie looks up at him confused. Stan takes Richie’s other arm. 

“Wha-“ Richie starts. 

“Let me do this.” Stan says, uncapping the ballpoint pen. Richie patiently watches as Stan writes a long message on his arm. When he’s done, Richie begins to read it.

‘Hey. This is Richie’s friend. I wanted to say fuck you. Richie is obviously sorry for what he said and you’re just gonna ignore him like that? He’s literally crying right now because of how much he misses you and how bad he feels for making you mad. You are a fucking asshole.’ 

“Stan!” Richie exclaims, “No! Why would you say that! Now Eddie is going to feel bad! Eddie isn’t an asshole he’s my baby!” Richie tries desperately to rub the words from his arm, Stan grabs him before he can though.

“No! I don’t care! He’s being a dick to you and I’m not gonna let him.” Stan says, brows furrowed.

Richie tries fighting Stan to was his off the ink, but eventually admits defeat. Richie sighs, falling back onto Stan’s pillows. Stan lays down next to Richie.

“I miss him so much.” Richie says sadly.

“I know you do. And I’m sorry he’s acting like this. Hopefully this will knock some sense into him.”

After a few minutes of Stan listening to Richie rant about Eddie, Stan notices new ink on Richie’s arm. 

“Rich.” Stan says, gesturing to Richie’s arm. Richie gasps at seeing his arm, but quickly adverts his eyes. Richie sits up, Stan does as well. 

“Stan! You read it! I can’t!” Richie whines, shoving his arm into Stan’s face. Stan grabs his arm, steadying it so he can read.

‘Hi! This is Eddie’s friend Bev! Eddie broke his arm a couple months ago, so if you’ve been writing on his left arm he hasn’t been able to see it because of his cast. He’s also not been able to write because he broke his dominant hand. Misunderstanding but fuck you for calling him an asshole because now he’s crying and thinks Richie hates him.’

“Oh. Oops.” Stan says.

“OOPS?!” Richie exclaims eyes darting to his skin. He reads the writing and groans out loudly.

“NOOOO!!!! He’s crying!!!” Richie whines, “The baby is crying!!” 

Stan sees Richie’s eyes begin to water as well. Stan sighs. 

“You really are soulmates. Both ridiculously dramatic.” Stan deadpans. He grabs the pen and uncaps it once again.

“Tell him I’m sorry! I don’t hate him! I love him!! Tell him I hope his arm gets better!” Richie commands Stan. 

Stan rolls his eyes.

“Richie says he doesn’t hate Eddie and hopes his arm gets better. And to be fair it did seem like Eddie was being an asshole. Oh and Richie says that he loves Eddie.”

A few minutes later there is a response.

‘Eddie says he loves Richie too. His cast should be coming off next week.’

Richie smiles a doopy cheek splitting grin, sighing lovingly. 

“He loves me!” Richie exclaims. 

Stan rolls his eyes, but smiles nonetheless. Sure, his friend could be annoying with his absolutely in love he was with this boy he hardly knew, but it made Stan happy seeing Richie happy. And boy, Eddie sure did make Richie happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLLLLEAAASE LEAVE COMMENTS OF STUFF U LIKED IT MAKES MY DAY SERIOUSLY AND INSPIRES ME 2 WRITE HAVING ALL THe COMMENTS ASKING FOR MORE OF THIS FIC MADE ME WRITE MORE


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